learn to love a thriller so

                                                          (image by graphicalle @ lj.com)

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for one week, recommend/share:

day one: a song
day two: a picture
day three: a book/ebook/fanfic
day four: a site
day five: a youtube clip
day six: a quote
day seven: whatever tickles your fancy

~ i always say that i couldn't possibly choose a favourite song, that there are too many amazing songs that i love and adore to play favourites. and while this is sort of true, it's also sort of true that here with me by dido is my favourite song above all the others.

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also, i got a temp job working as admin in a doctor's surgery place thinger. there was a bit of a mix-up between the temp agency and me and the surgery so today was a bit of a disaster, but i am looking forward to monday.

it is only £6/hour, but for 9-5 that'll add up okay, and it's only for 4-6weeks, which is a pain 'cause it means i'll have to sort out going back on jsa when it's done, but i don't mind because it will also be something more on my cv. plus i have to have particular training for it, so once i have that training i will be suddenly a more attractive employee than someone who doesn't. so yay! the worry and awkwardness of today has really tired me out. i feel ill and achey and tired and just drained, really. thank god i started on a friday so i have the weekend to recover.

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in exciting news, the hettster (aka yakyak/boho) is coming over tomorrow for awesomeness. she is bringing me a 'spare' touchscreen qwerty phone she has lying around, because apparently she is rich or something, because my phone is broken like a thing that dun't work proper no more. and we are gon chillax and chat and maybe snuggle under quilts and watch films. so that's nice. :)

and then on sunday i'ma wash my hair and do noooothing else. :D

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aaand we just ordered domino's for a late but much anticipated tea. omg i hope it gets here quick. they can't be very busy at this time of night so it shouldn't be too long!

see you tomorrow for day two. :)

I feel so hopeless today. I never thought my life would be like this.

this post is basically just because i can.

my friends bought me a gorgeous little glass teacup and saucer for my birthday. i have refrained from using it until now because it is so fragile and i am afraid of breaking it. it was on display on a corner unit in my living room, and it was just taunting me, so i christened it yesterday afternoon:


this is from a set of twining's classics that i bought... i am so glad i bought this pack of classics because i had never tasted lady grey before but now i know that it is just gorgeous. this, though, is ceylon, and it too is quite tasty, although i did put a bit too much sugar in. this was taken yesterday afternoon when i was having a cup of tea while reading a book.

the book, obviously, is feet of clay by terry pratchett. i have read it many times before; the Watch ones are my favourites because i adore Sam Vimes with a passion. this is a shiny brand new copy, though; i spent £25 that i don't have on brand new Watch books the other day because when i asked my parents to bring the terry pratchett books up, my dad sneakily kept the ones that belonged to him, and sadly this was most of the Watch ones. So I've started rereading the Watch ones in order; i'm just finishing Jingo now, and moving onto the Fifth Elephant this evening. The Fifth Elephant is probably my favourite after Night Watch. <3



aaand this is a teapigs lemongrass tea temple, taken about 10 minutes ago. along with the pretty cup, the girls bought me two packets of tea temples from teapigs - english breakfast, and lemongrass. i thought i'd have this one now because its quite late, and this is caffeine-free, and its also meant to aid with digestion, which i suppose is always good. i put a teaspoon of honey in it, because even though i will gladly turn down a dessert in favour of a sandwich, i enjoy my tea sweet. and this was just lovely - just like lemsip but without the prerequisite of feeling manky and ill. i'd definitely recommend it.


~
i may post some more teas because i have a large collection that need drinking and i have a shiny glass teacup and a camera. so yes. :D

~
in other news i am ridiculously excited about a brand new rpg my friends and i have set up. it seems to already have had a really positive impact on friendships which long since became strained and/or distant, and i just. well, it's really making me very happy at the moment. hopefully it will continue to do so, although it is early days yet.


~
also, i am ridiculously stressed about money. I think I have less than £600 in my bank account; my rent (£338) comes out next saturday and i am still jobless and have a pittance income from my benefits.

i got a phone call today from a job i applied for at the DWP. it is for an executive assistant so i doubt i will get it because that sounds quite big, but i have been shortlisted to go and take the numeracy and literacy tests that they require followed by an interview. the tests are next saturday (1st aug), and from what i can tell i presume that the interview will be the following week. i am pretty nervous really. it would pay me well enough to be able to save up for my postgraduate, which i desperately want to do. and, like i said, i am just terrified about my finances at the moment; i don't have enough coming in to cover outgoings really so a job would be fantastic please. however, judging by my parents' stagnant 'careers' in the dwp, it is entirely possible or even likely that it will be a horrible job that i will hate and stuff.

but i suppose it is also possible that i might enjoy it and be brilliant at it and it will be great etc.

i think a lot of the problem i have is that i honestly don't feel that i am qualified to do anything. why would anyone give me a job? particularly one with a responsible sounding name like 'executive assistant', lol. i am spectacularly useless. i hope i can do it.

~
to make financial matters worse, aaron and zara-louise are coming back tomorrow and we are going out for a meal for zara's birthday. while obviously i am happy to have them, and really happy that they had such a good time when they stayed a few weeks ago that they wanted to come back so soon - the restaurant they have booked (babycream on the albert dock) is pretty expensive, and then i think they want to go out afterwards so that is another worry. just, argh. i hate spending money on going out drinking, just because it is such a waste. i don't enjoy going out and to add insult to injury it generally costs a small fortune.

and i'm going to have to shave my legs for the occassion.

Hello there online journal :) :) i am FINALLY back online, but it's going to take me a while to get back into the swing of things, so this really is an update to let you know that I am here and hopefully an actual update with words and things will follow within the next few days. :)

So yes, hello again! I'm glad to be back.

I cannot fucking WAIT to get out of this house. I just went downstairs to take my washing out of the machine and put a new load in, only to discover my housemate had just taken my washing out and put her own in. That's fair enough, you might think. I have no monopoly on the washing machine. And, ordinarily, yes. Except at teatime earlier we had a CONVERSATION about the fact that I was planning on doing another two loads this evening after my current one finished because I need my clothes to dry in order to PACK THEM because I am GOING HOME FOR A WEEK. oh my god i am SO ANGRY i can't even describe it. i am crying actual tears of rage here, i don't remember the last time I was this pissed off.



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!


*breathes*

ETA sorry about spamming your flists/reading pages with my rage. :D but it was very cathartic for me! :D

Hello! I'm really sorry I haven't written a proper update in a while. I've mostly just been chilling (out maxin' relaxin' all cool...) before I start on the jobhunting, and to be honest I don't really have much to update about.

My exam on Friday went pretty well, I think. Well, fingers crossed, anyway. The questions were all really good, so I'm hoping that despite my abysmal essay I will still manage to scrape a 60+ for MAF.

I still need to fill in and send off my application form for the Graduate Trainee post at Manchester Uni library. It is really my last hope of getting a library job, seeing as I didn't get the one in Liverpool (which I am so sad about - it would have been perfect for me and I am convinced that I would be perfect for the job, too. I can't believe I didn't even get an interview. Life is hard). I haven't heard from Chester yet, either, and it's getting towards the end of May now. There's still some time but I'm not holding out much hope. There are more positions available in Manchester so hopefully I'm in with more of a chance and I am pretty excited at the prospect.

Anyway, so today I am planning on spending some time perfecting that application and sending it off. I also need to fix my CV. I am still not really sure what address I should put on it - I get the keys to my flat on June 1st, I believe, but my lease here doesn't run out until July 12th and I don't know really when I'll be moving. I don't want to put my parents' address on it in case people see it and think I won't be available to work, so I am in a bit of a dither at the moment. But I'll figure it out. I also need to traipse around looking for application forms for places like Asda, Tesco, and maybe visit the job centre too. I think I'd be quite happy to work somewhere like a supermarket though. I just, I want a job so much. I hate the idea of being dolescum*. :(

I ordered my PC on friday! My dad insisted that I get it in bits from Novatech, though, which means it has to go to my parents' house first so that he can put it together. Also I ended up only getting one 500gb hdd, which is annoying. My dad said he is going to ask my uncle to buy me another, smaller, internal hdd in return for him having my old pc though, so hopefully that will work out. Because really I want my OS to be installed on a separate hdd, and then all my 'stuff' to be kept on the 500gb one, and then my 500gb external to be used just as backup for my internal. Because I have this paranoid fear that it is going to explode one day and my entire life is on that thing, I don't know what I'd do! My dad insists that one 500gb internal is plenty, but I really like stuff. :|

So yeah, it cost me £442 for: a 500gb hdd; 4gb of ram; an amd x2 processor; an ati graphics card; built in wireless adapter; some other bits and bobs; and 64-bit windows vista - I am still pretty sad about this, but I wanted 64-bit (for potential future ram upgrades!) so I couldn't get XP, and I am too impatient to wait until the end of the year when Windows 7 makes it onto the market. I'm sure that Vista won't really be a problem for me, as just an average user, but I still feel a bit like I am selling my soul to the devil by buying it.

I've also downloaded .exe files for all the programs I use (thankfully they all work with 64-bit: although actually I needn't have worried I don't think. It seems that nowadays more things do work with 64-bit than don't. Hurrah!) and plonked them all onto my external in a folder called 'for justin mk II'. I am not entirely sure what to call my new pc though. Justin was named when Justin Finch-Fletchley was my much-loved HP RPG alter-ego and was somebody who meant a lot to me. Which actually is making me pretty sad to be getting rid of him. I can't really call him 'Justin II' because it doesn't mean the same anymore and it kind of cheapens the original Justin. I know it is pretty ridiculous to be taking something like this so seriously, but I don't know. I am a very sentimenal person, I'm afraid. I am sure I will figure it out. :p

So, according to parcelforce tracking, my pc bits are currently 'out for delivery', which I presume is a good thing. I really really hope they're not delivered tomorrow, though. Wednesdays are the one day a week when nobody is home - my mum is at work, my sister at school, and my dad goes to his weekly therapy thinger on wednesdays. it will be just my luck for delivery to happen tomorrow. i didn't think it would do - i ordered my pc on friday and got free delivery, which is supposed to be 3-5 working days, so i just assumed it'd arrive on friday. nevermind.

I'm going to go home on friday afternoon for a few days, then - i'm thinking i'll probably stay till wednesday 'cause my mummy says she wants me to spend my birthday at home. She's said she has budgeted for £150 my birthday present which is pretty exciting. I was hoping for, but not really expecting, £100 at most so I am really pleased. She's also said that she doesn't just want the money to go towards my pc, though. 'cause it's my 21st, she wants to get me something that i can keep, so I suggested that they get me a bracelet. I don't really wear much jewellery aside from necklaces - i have a pretty large collection of nice necklaces and i used to wear a different one every week or so when i was at school/college. however nowadays the only one i ever wear is my diamond and emerald one that joel bought me. so my parents getting me a 21st necklace would be pretty wasted because i would be torn about which to wear, haha. i would quite like a charm bracelet, but my housemate got a charm bracelet for her 21st and i would feel like, i dunno, i was copying or something. :| but i really really like the idea so it is definitely there to think about. my mum said that whatever of the £150 didn't go on my present could go to my pc as well. so hopefully my grandparents will give me some money, plus my aunties & other peripheral relations, maybe i'll get £200 or so towards my pc altogether, which certainly isn't something to sniff at.

i am just so excited and ridiculously full of love for my parents at the moment actually. i wouldn't even care if they weren't giving me anything for my birthday (...well, maybe i'd care a little bit :p), just because i know that if they could they would give me anything i wanted. it makes everything so much more meaningful when you know how much they've worked to give it you - my mum has been working on sundays for the past few months in order to earn extra money, and even though they have debts and other things that it would benefit them to spend it on, they're still determined to give me as much as possible. i think some of this current affection is due to the fact that i am now officially a grown-up - i am no longer a student and i am moving in with joel. until now, although i've been away at uni for the last 3 years, my parents house was still home, but now i have a different home. every time i go back i feel more and more like a guest and less like i belong there, which is pretty painful. :( even though i am so excited about living with joel i can't help but be distressed at the fact that it means i don't live with my parents anymore, y'know? :( sigh.

it's just pretty weird 'cause all my family is at home. my generation on my dad's side is the first that has gone to uni - my older cousin lives in manchester now, as she went to uni there; and my big brother lives in leeds 'cause he went to uni there; and now i live in liverpool. but everybody else - my aunties and uncles and grandparents - they all live pretty close by. one of my cousin's on my mum's side moved to ireland with her boyfriend but they moved back within months and now live a couple of streets away from her mum, lol. so to be officially moving away is pretty sad. we're a pretty close family. i miss my grandparents a lot.

so i am going to be at home for my birthday, which will be nice although probably also a little boring. also, because i am currently ipodless it will suck a bit to have to go on the train. i have a walkman phone and a dsi so it's not like i will be musicless or bored, but i miss my itouch a lot and to be doing something like a train journey without it just seems wrong, lol. i have promised to give liz a list of books that she and my friends can pick and choose from for my birthday. also i have said i'd like a glass teacup and liz suggested getting me some alcohol. we're having my party on saturday (the 30th). i am really not a clubbing person so i just want a stay-in party - i'm thinking music, drinking games, haribo, that sort of thing. i hope everyone enjoys it. most of my friends are more going out on the town sort of people but, i mean. it's my birthday so i think for one night they can try and have fun getting drunk and giggly at home instead of going out. i think i'm going to dig up some drinking games and things and hopefully have a blast. and liz is making me a lemon flavoured SUNSHINE cake which may even surpass last year's bunny rabbit cake! i am pretty excited.

i should really hurry up and sort out that list of books though. hm hmm.


ALSO. In a follow-up to this post I made the other week, I am thinking about setting up a music community for that purpose. If anyone has any name suggestions that would be great. :D


I don't think I have anything else to say. I ought to go and do some job-related work now.


*Not that that means that I think everybody on benefits is scum! Particularly in this economy I know that that is far from the case. But where I come from, most of the people on benefits are claiming just because they don't want to work. So I have a sort of ingrained prejudice against them. :\

Uggghhhh. I just saw a comment on Yahoo answers saying:

"Twenty years ago, Ann Rice gave generations the Vampire Lestat series. It was more tailored to the tastes of the eighties with gore, androgony, violence and big hair and clothes.

With Twilight, it is time for the current generation to enjoy a romance in their own way, with less window-dressing, more depth to the characters, more grunge and more humanity."

(emphasis mine)

I just. Why??

I admit I have only read the 1st 3 Vampire Chronicles 'cause according to all reports they are the only good ones. But I am pretty sure that the characters of the Vampire Chronicles are deeper than 'look at me I fall over a lot!' Bella and 'I am so boring it hurts' Edward.

Yargh.



Also, i'm pretty much obsessed with The Maccabees

I have so many things I've thought about putting in this update that now I can't remember half of them, so it's probably going to be a bit (or a lot) disjointed. Sorry to anyone who's reading. :)

( Essay/Uni talk )

I spent a bit of time this evening tweaking the css for my new layout, and I'm quite pleased with it as it stands right now. A link to the journal I got the orignal codes from is on my journal info. And speaking of the journal info, I found a way around the fact that the html in my bio was somehow hiding all of the main navigation links in the Dreamiwdth site scheme - I changed it to a different scheme! The one called 'Celerity', I think it is. I like it quite a lot, and it's fixed my problem. My bio html still isn't showing as it should, but at least I have navigation links again.

...I'm so used to writing on Word that I keep hitting ctrl+s every now and then to save. >.< That's pretty annoying. Also my hands are killing me. :|

What else what else did I have to say? Oh yes, I've decided that I'm going to have a 'poetry sunday', probably on the first sunday of every month, although I've missed it this month so maybe I'll do it next week too. Basically I intend to post a poem or some songlyrics that I really like, for no other purpose than that... I really like them and want to share them. With songlyrics I'll probably upload the song. I'll most likely make a few comments regarding why I like said poetry, too. So, you have been warned. Avoid my journal on sundays. ;)

I'm pretty sleepy now, actually. I just have a few more things I meant to say.

( Flat/Moving talk )

I am pretty knackered now and can't remember much else that I wanted to say. I have this niggling feeling that someone has commented to me somewhere on Dreamwidth and I haven't replied, which is pretty annoying. And I know for a fact that there are several entries on my reading page that I really wanted to comment on but didn't have time at the time, and don't have the energy to find now. I'm really sorry, but I have been reading all the entires of people I'm subscribed too. I've just been super-busy and therefore not up to much commenting. I'll get better next week, after my exam, I promise!


Finally, one of my LJ friends just posted this awesome meme which I really had to steal:

Ten Words or Less Meme
Write 10 different categories of fic, each in 10 words or less.


1. Angst:
"Booth, you're gonna be fine. Come on, Booth. No." - Fin.

2. AU:
"FBI, Special Agent Temperance Brennan. This is Dr. Seeley Booth."

3. Crack!Fic:
Seeley read the namebadge on the hot Hooters girl: 'Temperance'.

OR:

"Bones, is Zack Gormorgon's assistant?" "Yes. Zack is my assistant."

4. Crossover:
Booth stared as the wooden stake pierced the vampire's chest.

5. First Time:
Booth's fingers brushed across her lips. "We're not just partners, Bones." (eleven words, sorry!)

6. Fluff:
"Y'know, Bones. I think we're going to grow old together."

7. Humor:
(I feel that my two for crack gives me a free pass. :| )

8. Hurt/Comfort:
"Booth. Let me help you."

9. Smut:
She certainly doesn't fear physical intimacy, Booth thinks.

10. UST:
He sees her everyday. Eventually, he thinks, I'll tell her.


Er. In case you can't tell, I chose Bones. It is a lot harder than it looks! Especially when you're used to writing stories with quite a lot of detail/imagery in. 10 words isn't enough. >.<



This entry is prolly littered with typos, sorry. I'll fix it tomorrow. But now - my bed is calling.


ETA: After seeing the length of this post, I decided to cut it. To save your eyes! :)

ETA2: Wow, I'm pretty annoyed. I just submitted the 10 mini-fics thing to a Bones community and my post was rejected. The reasons they gave were:
Your entry was rejected because it did not have the mandator fanfic header, and contained spoilers. Remember that both season 3 and 4 are considered spoilers in this community and require warnings before the cut if they are used.

1) How on earth would I do one of those fanfiction headers for the above 'fics'? Would anybody else have thought it would be necessary?

2) I PUT A CUT saying 'I don't think there's any spoilers, but I'll cut it just in case. :)' Those were the exact words in my cut text!

I mean, what the hell. They clearly didn't actually read my post.

that zombies are my biggest fear.

What's yours?


I'm serious though, I'm terrified of them. Not 'undead' zombies because I am pretty sure that they aren't real. But zombies like in Resident Evil or 28 Days Later, ones caused by human cock-ups and viruses and shit, they terrify me. What if they happen?

Have any of you ever seen Blast From The Past with Brendan Fraser in it? Basically, when Joel and I grow up and build our own house, I want a bomb shelter like the one in the film, not in case of nuclear war (...although admittedly, it'll be handy for that too; nuclear winter is also pretty high on my list of 'ways i don't want to die'. On that note, my dad made me watch Threads when I was about 11. Way to parent, dad.) but for when the zombies come.

They give me nightmares. :(

I do love Resident Evil, though.